


Figuring It Out As We Go

by LittleSparrow69



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Deaf Character, Developing Relationship, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Nipple Play, Secret Relationship, Shower Sex, Sign Language, handjob
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-20
Updated: 2015-04-20
Packaged: 2018-03-24 21:36:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,866
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3785098
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LittleSparrow69/pseuds/LittleSparrow69
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It wasn't as though she hadn't crossed Clint's mind.  She had. Several times in fact.  He just didn't know where things stood between them and he was a little too exhausted to find out.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Figuring It Out As We Go

**Author's Note:**

  * For [asamandra](https://archiveofourown.org/users/asamandra/gifts).



> Based on [THIS](http://avengerkink.livejournal.com/20598.html?thread=49819510#t49819510) prompt at Avengerkink Meme by asamandra. Thank you for the inspiration! 
> 
> I honestly don't even know where this came from. I've been reading primarily Clint/Coulson for 2 years in this fandom and THIS is the first thing I've actually written. And its HET at that! Weird. 
> 
> Spellchecked only. Beta's are hard to find!

He was dead on his feet. It had been hours since the battle ended, since Shwarma, since Fury dropped the bomb that Phil was alive but in a medically induced coma while his body recovered from the trauma of Loki's spear. It was still touch and go but SHIELD medical was top notch and if they were cautiously optimistic about Phil's chances, well then that was good enough for him. It had to be. The alternative didn't bear thinking about. 

Their bedraggled group of super heroes was just leaving medical when she entered. 

Maria Hill had an air of command and an obvious bone to pick. Her jaw was tight and her blue eyes narrowed, barely a hair out of place despite a small cut that marred an otherwise flawless cheekbone and the shadow of a bruise near her temple. 

"And just where the hell do you think you're going?" Maria Hill's voice was low and dangerous as she focused her unerring gaze on Clint. 

He stilled as several pairs of eyes turned to him, confused by the weird tension suddenly filling the room. Even Fury looked somewhat out of sorts as he eyed his second in command. 

Clint didn't help matters at all when he replied with, "What's it to you?" 

"Whoa," Tony said from somewhere behind him as Maria took a step forward, "someone's got a death wish." 

It wasn't as though she hadn't crossed Clint's mind. She had. Several times in fact. He just didn't know where things stood between them and he was a little too exhausted to find out. From the looks of things he was about to. 

"You shot at me," he reminded her, ignoring everyone else. 

"You tried to blow me up," she countered. 

To be fair he'd tried to blow up the helicarrier. Leave it to Hill to take it personally. 

"Listen," Steve interrupted calmly. "Let's just..."

"Stay out of this, Cap," Maria ordered firmly without taking her eyes off Clint. "It doesn't concern you." 

Steve floundered a bit at that, not sure what to do but obviously wanting to support his teammate. Clint was too tired to be touched by the gesture but he appreciated it all the same. 

"Do you know...?" Maria took another step toward Clint as she trailed off. "Do you have any idea...?" 

She sounded seriously pissed but Clint picked up on something else as well, though he was pretty sure he was the only one familiar enough with the tell to notice it. When she grabbed him by the front of his uniform Clint felt the tension mount behind him as his teammates tensed on his behalf. But then he was being pulled forward and his lips were crushed beneath hers, the length of her body pressed to his as she surged against him. 

He responded immediately, mouth opening to her, arm going around that trim waist and pulling her tight as she claimed his mouth with a thorough and demanding tongue. Peripherally, Clint was aware of shocked silence. You could literally hear a pin drop because this, THIS was the best kept secret in S.H.I.E.L.D. Natasha knew of course. She was his best friend and they shared everything, but no one, not even Fury had known they were sleeping together. Clint could practically feel the heat of that one-eyed gaze and the raised brow that promised a reckoning of some sort for the both of them. 

It said a lot that Maria was the one to out them and in so public a forum at that. Clint just wasn't sure exactly what it meant. They had both agreed to keep their relationship quiet, for no reason beyond the fact that it was nobody else's business and they were both very private people. The antagonistic nature of their professional relationship was not the least bit feigned, and while it fueled a fair amount of their sex, they had also come to discover that when it was just the two of them, stripped of their rank and defenses - they actually fit together quite nicely. 

Bruce cleared this throat softly and tactfully in the background. Maria's grip on his uniform lessened the kiss less demanding as her hand found its way to his bicep, familiar and a tad possessive. Clint's lips followed hers as she broke the kiss but not the embrace. He opened his eyes to find no solace in her expression, but the soft blue of her gaze held a different truth. They were, the both of them, hard to read but once they'd figured out each other’s tells...it had been difficult to hide. Not that they hadn't tried for a time. 

Maria stepped back just enough and barely out of his space, hand sliding slowly down the length of his arm to Clint's hand. He laced their fingers together without thought, his grip tight. 

"With me, agent," she ordered, ready to lead him from the room and entirely ignoring everyone else. 

Clint wasn't entirely sure when Maria had become his lifeline, his shelter from the various storms in his life, but over the past two years she had become just that. His grip turned desperate and she glanced at him in concern. 

He gave a quick nod and they moved together towards the exit. Fury's voice gave them pause but did not halt their progress. 

"I expect both of you..."

"Off duty, Sir," Maria interrupted him firmly to the shock of everyone in the room, including Fury. "It'll keep til morning." 

Tony's amused snort followed them out into the corridor along with Thor's quiet questions and Steve's consternation. Neither of them looked back. They didn't speak at all. If Maria's heated glare at anyone who dared to even remotely glance sideways at Clint wasn't enough to keep passerby's at bay, then the site of their joined hands was certainly enough to send most scurrying as far away from them as possible. 

Clint wasn't even sure where they were going, he was simply along for the ride at this point, so exhausted that he was on auto pilot. Eventually though they were alone, cut off from the rest of the ship, a door sliding closed behind him just before his back hit it with enough force to thump his head back against it as well. And this, this was familiar territory. They tore at each other’s clothes, kissing and groping and barely making it to the bed. He'd barely gotten his boots off and kicked off his pants when Maria was sliding into his lap in nothing but her panties, straddling him skin to skin and pulling him in for a wet and dirty kiss. His hand stroked up the center of her back and pulled her in close, nipples hard and pointed against his chest. 

It wasn't until Maria went completely still that Clint realized that he was shaking and that he couldn't stop. He hadn't consciously let go but some part of him recognized that he was safe, that he could stand down and had done so without his permission. Clint buried his face in her neck, eyes closed, as everything hit him at once. The helpless horror and desperation of being trapped and used at Loki's command, forced to launch an assault against the only family he'd ever known, the fear that those who meant the most to him would never, could never, forgive him. 

He made a noise then, he hadn't meant to but it was as lost and lonely as those days spent inside his own head under Loki's thrall. Maria's grip on him tightened, shifting just enough so that the legs straddling him, wrapped around him instead, the hand at the back of his head combing through his hair gently and coming to rest at the nape of his neck. 

She didn't say anything she just held him. He shook silently in her arms, not even aware that he was weeping until the taste of salt touched he corner of his mouth. Clint stiffened, too tired to be proud but embarrassed all the same. When he would have pulled away Maria's lips brushed gently against the whorls of his ear, careful of his hearing aid, and kissed him tenderly. It was intimate in such a non-sexual way that Clint was at a loss in how to respond.

"Shhhhhhhhhh," she soothed low and quiet. "It's okay. I've got you." 

Maria had no way of knowing how those words could undo him and he could tell she was confused by the hitch of his breath and the fresh spill of tears that she felt more than saw as he trembled. Only two other people had ever said those words to him with conviction that he could believe. Coulson and Natasha. He wasn't sure what he'd done to inspire such loyalty in either of them, but he could hear the same truth in Maria's voice as well. 

He clung to her fiercely, needing the anchor of strength and support she provided in order to ground himself. She let him hold her far too tightly for a long time before coaxing him into the bed proper and beneath the blankets. Clint felt a moment of panic as they separated but then Maria was tucking herself against him, tangling their legs together and kissing his neck. He fell asleep with his arms around her and the whisper of her lips against his pulse point. 

When he woke it was just before dawn, still gray and dreary outside the small window of the carrier that Maria's status afforded her. Clint felt a bit lighter and less burdened in spirit but his face felt gross from dried tears and his eyes were gummy. He turned his head to find Maria still wide awake and watching him from her pillow. Clint met and held her gaze, determined to not look away in the face of his self-consciousness when she had given him a safe haven in which to break down. 

He reached for her, stroking her face, fingertips tracing over her lips - saying with touch what had always been so hard for him to say with words. _Thank you._

Maria opened her mouth and enveloped the tip of his middle finger, tongue swirling and hinting at the skill he knew she had with that particular appendage. A warm fire sparked deep and quick, his cock stiffening before his mind fully caught up with the program. She could see it in his eyes, her hand wrapping around his length, urging him to thrust into her grip until he was hard and ready. 

Before he could roll them over with him on top, Maria was pushing him to his back and mounting him, knees on either side. Somewhere along the way she'd lost her panties because her flesh was warm and damp against his belly. She pinned his wrists carefully on either side of his head as she met his gaze, asking more than forcing as she maneuvered herself into position to take Clint's length inside her. Once she found the right angle it was easy to slide her way down, and she did so, almost torturously slow. 

Clint's eyes fluttered as she seated herself, panting softly with his lips parted as Maria hitched her hips back and forth with small, barely there movements. He widened his legs slightly, bucking up into her. 

"Don't move," she ordered but without her usual bite. "Just...let me." 

Clint acquiesced, letting Maria take the lead, her body a slow sinuous wave as she rode him at her leisure. She blanketed him with her body, kissing him when she felt like it and nipping at the skin at the juncture of his neck and shoulder when he tilted his head back. He opened his eyes as Maria released his wrists but there was a command in her gaze. _Stay._

Hands on the bed on either side of his chest for leverage, Maria kissed her way down his chest as she pushed back against him, burying herself deeply. His breath quickened as she skirted a perked nipple that tingled in anticipation. Clint had very sensitive nipples and Maria enjoyed playing with them. Early on he had been a tad embarrassed by such a thing but it was such an obvious turn on for Maria that he'd learned to let it go. Besides, he'd quickly discovered that she had a one or two kinks of her own that he'd needed to 'reassure' her about... as much as they ever did such a thing without actually talking about it. 

He kept his hands over his head but couldn't help the groan that escaped him as she latched onto his nub. She flicked at him mercilessly with her tongue before swirling and laving at the tight furl, tugging at it with just the right amount of suction that had him arching and mewling in a way that would have horrified him had it not felt so fucking good. Clint had to concentrate on not rolling his hips and letting her do the work, fighting the instinct to just let himself rut. The effort had him breaking out in a sweat, body glowing with perspiration as he writhed beneath her. 

Maria kissed her way across his chest and toyed with his other nipple, teasing him with soft laps of her tongue and barely there nips of her teeth. Clint was panting and whimpering obliviously by the time she enveloped him in the warmth of her mouth, his hips hiccupping slightly despite his effort to remain still. 

"You're being a very good boy, Clint," Maria purred. "You want to move? To fuck me while I suck your tit?" 

"God, yes," Clint breathed, tossing his head with the effort to not do just that. "Please." He absolutely loved it when she talked dirty. 

"Wait as long as you possibly can," she told him. "And when you can't possibly stand it anymore you can move. Just your hips. Keep your hands over your head until I tell you otherwise." 

Maria latched onto his nipple roughly, tugging at it with her teeth as she gently twisted at the other with her fingertips. Clint thrashed helplessly, trying to hold out as long as possible, mewling pitifully as his eyes rolled back in his head. And then he was moving, heels digging into the mattress for leverage as his hips jerked and bucked, spearing into Maria's tight heat and fighting the urge to grab her by slim hips and hold her in place. 

She keened just before he came, her hand leaving him and slipping between their bodies to rub at her clit. Clint came with his mouth open, mostly silent but for an inelegant, if very satisfying, grunt as they jerk and shudder through their respective orgasms. They were still joined as Maria rested her head on Clint's chest, each attempting to catch their breath. 

He really wanted to move his arms but he hadn't been given permission to yet. Clint's voice was hesitant only in that he hated how vulnerable it made him sound. 

"Can I hold you now?" he asked. 

Maria nestled in closer and didn't look up at him but responded just as quietly with, "please." 

His arms wrapped around her, thumb stroking soft, flawless skin as she finally drifted into sleep. Clint wasn't far behind as he tucked a lock of ebony hair behind her ear with tenderness that very few have ever inspired within him. With the last of his energy he pulled the blankets up over them and dropped off to sleep himself. 

Just over two hours later Clint woke as Maria rolled away to the edge of the bed. The sun was shining and the bedside clock showed that it was 6:03 am. She got less sleep than he did but looked much more rested. They gazed at each other, both aware that something has shifted but not quite sure what it was. Clint felt like he should say something but was at a loss as to where to start. 

"Stow it," Maria said, startling him from his reverie. "I can hear the gears grinding from here. Don't complicate it with words, Clint." 

He looked at her, really looked at her and could tell that she was just as lost in all of this as he was. Whatever it was they shared, they seemed to understand each other without messing it up with words or slapping a label on it. 

He couldn't help but smile. He was down with that shit. Talking about things had never really worked out well for him. 

"I need a shower," Maria announced and then glanced at him. "So do you." 

"That an invitation?" he asked. 

"Take it however you want," she said and sauntered towards the bathroom with no concern for her nudity. 

"Make me some coffee?" he asked, more to gauge her response than any real expectation that she would do so. 

"Make your own damn coffee, Barton," she said without looking back. "And make me some while you're at it." A pause as she disappears into the other room, "then get your ass in here." 

Clint hopped out of bed knowing she wouldn't extend her shower for him if he took too long and made a full pot of coffee to his liking. Maria could water it down if it was too strong for her. It was just starting to drip at a good speed when he set two mugs side by side and grabbed the sugar and creamer from the cupboard, placed them on the counter and made his way to the bathroom. 

It was full of steam, divinely warm and so inviting as he stepped into the shower without thought. Clint's hands went to her hips and she turned to him with the suds of her shampoo running down her body. Maria's eyes went wide and she grabbed his biceps and pushed him back, away from his spray, and into the wall. He was surprised and almost slipped but understood as her hands went to his ears and gently removed his hearing aids before leaning out of the stall and placing them safely on the counter by the sink. 

Clint's smile was sheepish as Maria rolled her eyes and finished rinsing her hair. When it was his turn under the spray she washed his back, hands caressing but efficient as she worked her way down the length of each leg. He turned his head as Maria pressed a wet kiss between his shoulder blades but remained as he was when her arms wrapped around him from behind. One hand drifted low to his groin and the other slicked upward over wet skin to his nipple. 

It didn't take him long to fully harden, one hand reaching out to the wall for balance as she worked him with quick and expert strokes. Her lips moved against his back, the rumble of words felt rather than heard as she said whatever it was she needed to say without saying it directly to him. Clever of her to distract him with a hand job but Clint had things he needed to say too, even if he didn't necessarily want her to hear them. 

As far as distractions went though, he could get behind this one. He came with a cry he couldn't hear and turned long enough to return the favor with a hand between Maria's legs and a handful of breast as she lifted one foot to the lip of the tub and stretched an arm upward to grip the hair at the base of his neck. 

They dried off separately and dressed before meeting at the coffee pot. Maria gave him an exasperated look and pointed to his ears to remind him of his aides. Clint opened his hand and set them on the counter between them. Maria eyed him curiously but turnabout was fair play and he deserved to get his say too. 

Her eyes widened as his hands moved, speaking in ASL, a language that Clint knew she only had rudimentary understanding of. He said what he needed to say, completely unrehearsed, out of order and some of which made no sense at all...but he had to say it. 

He started with _thank you. I don't know what this is or what it means. I don't know when it became more than just fucking but I think about you more than I should. More than I want to. I...care for you even when you're being a bitch and driving me crazy._

Maria's eyes narrowed and Clint knew she was picking up on some of the words. 

_I...I'm sorry I can't give you what you want...what you need. You deserve more...more than I'm capable of...Hell,_ he ducked his head in self-deprecation, _who's to say you even want any of that from me anyways...you are so out of my league..._

Clint froze as her hand gripped his and met Maria's concerned gaze. He had been struggling with what he was saying and apparently it showed, even if she didn't understand everything he was signing. He laughed and though he couldn't hear it he could tell it wasn't very convincing. 

She gripped his chin and forced him to meet her gaze, Clint lip reading her slow and carefully pronounced words. 

"Hey," she said. "We're good. Understand?" 

Maria let him get away with a brief hesitation before giving a nod that he knew didn't fully convey his conviction. 

"Look," she said, continuing to speak so that he could easily read her words, "unless you want to end this...this...whatever this thing is between us...we're good." 

Clint's gaze travelled to hers once she finished speaking. He saw the same fear, uncertainty and longing that was mirrored in his own eyes. 

Maria's finger went to her lips to draw his attention back to what she was saying. 

"The rest," she spoke out loud before switching to ASL herself and shocking the hell out of Clint, _we'll figure it out as we go. Deal?_

He eyed her suspiciously. Her signing was clumsy and cautious as if she'd just learned but it was clear enough. Clint couldn't help but wonder how much of what he'd signed earlier that she'd understood before deciding he really didn't want to know. 

_Deal,_ he signed. 

As they stepped out of her quarters the carrier was already buzzing with activity. Shoulder to shoulder they shared a small smile before they each took a step in the opposite direction. 

"Where are you going?" she asked with a frown. "Director Fury will be expecting us." 

Clint's smile was more a smirk as he took another step away from her, walking backwards. "I'll be there when I get there," he informed her. "Right now I've got a team to check in with." 

Her eyes flashed but he couldn't tell if it was in irritation or affection or some weird combination of both. 

"Later, Hill," the smile was more genuine this time as he continued his backward trek. 

She surprised him with a small smirk this time. "Count on it, Barton." 

The End.


End file.
